and then...

over that weekend we had a great dinner party with a bunch of friends from way back and it was easy to be happy, but not really carefree. Everything I had read said that 80-90% of these biopsies were benign or negative. But no one in on the procedure had said "don't worry, it's probably nothing." They probably aren't allowed to say that to anyone. I think that would be the hardest part. I would want to reassure and comfort everyone.

On Monday, I took #1 to her classes at 11 and was just back out in the parking lot when Handyman called and said the hospital had called. He gave me the number and when I called it back, the message on the line said "This is Julie at the Blah-Blah High-Risk Breast Center." Hmmmmmm, this did not bode well, methinks. So I took a deep breath, looked at the bright sunshine and thought--"I can get through this." That was truly my first thought. I didn't think about death or being scared. We're all going to die of something, sometime. And I love that scripture about us being foreigners here, but I digress...

She called me before I could call the other number I had and asked if I was driving at the moment and when I said no, she said my biopsy showed LCIS and "invasive" which is a really scarey word, but doesn't necessarily mean "all over your body", it just means, leaving the immediate area.

Anyway, I just didn't feel any need to get crazy. It's an issue to be handled--that's how I see it. As I've said to many people, it's not my pancreas. They don't make a falsie for your pancreas; you just die. It's not my brain; it's not even a really bad car accident where you have to learn to walk and speak again, and you don't remember your kids...they're just boobs.

And that's just what I thought, until I started looking at pictures on the internet...