Happy Anniversary!

Two years ago, yesterday, I underwent my first surgery in my cancer story. I spent around 5 hours on the operating table that day, two surgical teams took turns taking me apart and putting me back together.

Praise the Lord! For their skill and knowledge and compassion.

Today, I am totally and completely well. I had about 4 or 5 more surgeries, after that, to get completely "done", but I am now finished. I feel great and am happy and content. I took an infusion of Zometa earlier this year to combat osteopenia, which is probably the result of chemo. The Zometa will help me build bone, but also has a side-effect of reducing reoccurence of bc.

My hair is my same old hair, just not long enough yet. :)

I can honestly say that cancer made me a better person. And I can honestly say that I am glad I went through it because I like the new me more. I am so thankful to all my wonderful friends who helped and fed us, and helped and helped us some more. My family, who came from far and near to do any and all things needed. My insurance company (honestly), that paid and paid and paid, without one single glitch or increase. My husband, who walked through it with me, with humor and not one hint of discomfort or fear. My girls, who kept my focus off myself-- :)--and my wonderful menagerie, who needed me to get out of bed and bring the food!

With God, all things ARE possible.

PCMLC

...stands for Post-Cancer Mid-life Crisis...and I'm having one. And it isn't for a sports car...



and I haven't written about it because I feel guilty for doing it, and now I can't really get out of it, quickly. Every day I struggle with what I have done and I put off doing laundry a little longer and I leave the stacks of paper on my desk and I just go again and again, to the barn...

...and write another check, for some hoof supplement or some new body sponge (for him), and it's pretty fun, except for the guilt.

I am very well. My hair is very housewifey and getting a little bushy. My eyebrows are wimpy and my big toenails are almost completely grown out. The only procedure I have left to do is tatooing (ugh--I cannot believe it). I am all back together. But, another, younger woman I know, who was diagnosed while pregnant (!!!), had chemo while preggers, delivered, had radiation and then surgery, found a brain tumor.

The day I read that on her Caring Bridge update, I started looking for a horse. I almost yelled to my husband, from the office computer, "That's it--I'm getting a horse!" I felt frightened and sickened and spurred to action--I'd better get on with whatever's on my bucket list because I just don't know how long I've got--none of us knows.

So, the horse market being what it is--I found a horse, and a terrific prospect to boot. So I drove 6 hours to see him for an hour and six hours back. And she had brain surgery. And my horse was delivered to my barn, and I paid $1 for him.

And she had weakness in one of her hands and was feeling better and went in for a follow-up, which included a body scan, I guess and they found tumors in one lung and on her pelvic bone. And she has three little children.

And my horse, is being trained by my long-time friend the professional trainer, who says he is doing great. And almost every day, after I feel really guilty about how much this costs Handyman, I brush off that silly, unnecessary horse and pet his nose and look forward to getting on him myself.

Exciting News!

I am going for a haircut tomorrow! I have lived through the post-chemo apocalyptic short, through the haggard housewife easy-do and have entered the shaggy dog, looks like a disaster.

It's only been about 14 months since my ponytail was lopped off! :*( So, the cutting will be kept to a minimum), but I am excited to start shaping it into a style of some sort.

My two big toenails have not grown completely out yet. They didn't start their reaction until a month or so after chemo was over. So they were a surprise. Just one more reminder that will go away eventually.

Happy Groundhog Day!

The Year of A Thousand 'Do's

Just passed my 18th anniversary with the Handyman. That means in two weeks it will be the 20th anniversary of our first date...it was the Monday before Thanksgiving. He wouldn't even spring for dinner...just "a drink". Jiminy Crickets! But, I wore him down. We can spend three figures on a dinner for two nowadays--no problem. We love to eat.

But I digress...I was going to say that I actually liked my hair when we went out for our anniversary. It was pretty cute, and so completely easy. I'm pretty much in love with the easy part, if I can just avoid looking into a mirror as I go out the door.

Of course I was also wearing my all-time favorite, most flattering sweater--that is starting to wear out!!! It is a black mock-neck, 3/4 sleeves with varying width knit ribbing, wider across the chest, and narrower around the waist, so it makes you look tantalizingly trim, even if you ain't! It's some simply polyester thang that was given to me as a hand-me-down eons ago by my long-lost friend Leslie, from her sister. Don't you love those?? Won't be finding a replica of this one anytime soon. Man. (Same thing's happening to my favorite jeans. These wide leg, lightweight denim from Old Navy that I bought for $1 from my mom's next door neighbor's garage sale. Yikes. The consequences of bargain barrel shopping.)

So maybe it wasn't that I liked my hair so much as that I love my sweater and it camouflages a multitude of missing locks.

I did get a new camera for my birthday last month...just in time to take the kids to see King Tut, where NO PHOTOGRAPHY IS ALLOWED. Perfect.

I was at my friend the hairdresser's place the other day and she said I was going to need it shaped up pretty soon. But I just can't see myself letting scissors get anywhere near it, yet. It still needs to blow around a little more.

My hair

Can I say right up front, that having hair is G-R-E-A-T. I am soooooooooo thankful to have hair, to have eyebrows and, well, hair. It's also a great source of entertainment, humor and annoyance. And I hate that I'm annoyed with the gift that I longed for...and I hate that I am in any way less than ecstatic that I have it. Does this make any sense at all??

My hair is now just a little past the "cute" stage. It has slipped easily into the pixie Peter Pan stage, with a hint of curl and bangs, if you can call them that, that remind a certain generation of Mamie Eisenhower. (Never seen her.)

Because there is about a foot-and-a-half of hair missing from the back of my head, there is plenty of waggle in the little sprouts. It's cute and, truthfully, it's REALLY, REALLY easy to deal with.


But, and it's a big BUT for me, it's boyish. And here's where I continue to remind myself that way too much of my vanity is/was wrapped up in my hair. I'm reminded of that episode of Designing Women where Annie Potts gets some falsies to try out, before she commits to an augmentation. And she gets intoxicated with the power she feels from being well-endowed. And she gets assertive and aggressive and she likes it.


I can feel a little of that, with long hair. Even if it isn't blonde.

Good, bad or indifferent, I liked it.

My hair is a little overripe on the pixie cut now and is having a hint of the overgrown shrubbery look on the top. And that little bit of wave is making it a lot of unruly, so most days I am found with a ballcap on. Thank heavens Handyman has a LOT of cool ballcaps, and I was already a ballcap wearer, albeit with a big honkin' ponytail hanging out the back.


Am I glad to have hair, any hair? Absolutely. But to me, it almost doesn't qualify if you can't put a rubber band around it!

It's summer and the living is easy...

Just a note to say that life is good at Netherfield. In the past month, I have had my exchange surgery, a new dog, two children in two different plays, closing ceremonies for Awana (twice), 4H dog program start-up, a truckload of daylilies to plant (seriously), a dryer full of red bubblegum, dance lessons, a weekend scrapbook project for 8th grade language arts, and a whole lot of driving!

It is hectic and normal. And who couldn't ask for more normalcy? On the "front" front--my exchange surgery came quickly as I was on the "bump up" list. So they called whenever there was a surgery cancellation, which worked well for me. I love my new look. I was a little disheartened by my tissue expanders. They didn't seem symetrical and they were blocky and hard.

She asked me pre-op if I was happy with the size and I told her no, to err on the side of smaller. I decided bigger wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and I was thankful to have lived with them for a few months before I had to make the choice. She said, no problem, they had "racks" of them back there in the OR. So I opted for smaller and I am very pleased.

I'm going to wrap up this blog and move back to Netherfield--where the fodder is more interesting! I am so thankful to all of you who have had a hand, or a dish, in my recovery. I am a better person for it and I hope you will all know how much your care and love has meant to me.

Five O'Clock Shadow

Well, the Star Trek commands have done their job! My hair has "engaged". You can tell from across the room, that the top of my head is a different, darker color than my face--yippee! In fact, on one side, the hair is actually lying down! It is thin, but it roars, to me anyway.

I still pick up hair rubber bands and put them in my pants pocket, thinking I'll need them later. And you know what? I will.

Just wondering how long until I'll ditch my snug little wiggie for good...

I hope everyone is on schedule for your mammogram. I hope you are making dietary and exercise changes in your daily life, including meditation time. I'm looking into a Christian rosary-type meditation. The book I recently recommended Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life, spoke of some remarkable advantages of meditation, specifically studied in people who used the Latin Rosary. The memorized prayer, its timing and the serenity brought on by the routine recitation brought opportunities for the body to settle and align itself in a completely unique way. (Of course this makes sense to people of faith...)

Anyway, take this first-of-the-month opportunity to stretch in ways and try new things to put yourself on more solid footing in caring for yourself. Often, we moms put others first SO often, that we suffer. And as the old story goes, starving people must feed themselves first, for if they are lost, their children most certainly will be lost as well.

Take care of yourself, today. No one else is going to do it for you!

Here's to a hairy spring! ;)

Wilkommen and sayonara

Lots going on around here--let me just say that when I have been whining and wishing for hair, I did not intend for hair to return to MY UPPER LIP! I think you should get to avoid that forever once you have had parts of your body removed/replaced. There is hair on my head. Each of my children have commented on it separately. It mostly looks colorless, although that cannot be the complete truth, since I notice a "five o'clock shadow"ishness to the top of my head. And today, before church, I swear it looked a little "spotty" for lack of a better term. I've been afraid to look since then.

And there is hair on my legs and I still have a numb armpit, which makes shaving a daredevil activity!

My fingernails, on the other hand, seem to be going the way of the dodo. More and more of them are "letting go" as it were. Lifting themselves off and taking on a yellowish hue. Ick. I suppose it didn't help that I washed the pony's tail yesterday with no gloves on. Equine hygiene is high on my list, here.

I have got to get walking now, as exercise was very high on the list of Ways to Avoid Recurrence, in the book I just finished, Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life. Cutting back on sugar is also big and I will be wrestling with that.

I am so thankful to be mucking my own stalls. I know that's an odd thought, but I think it everyday. I remember asking my surgeon how soon I would be back to my old habits and he promised by the holidays (past). And thankfully, he was right. I can lift and carry and work just like always--WHAT A BLESSING! I know breast surgery has changed so dramatically within my adult lifetime. I'm so glad I got to come in at the better end of that arc.

I will be having my exchange surgery sometime in the next month, I think. Where they replace the soft tissue expanders (that were inserted in my original surgery), with saline or silicone implants. I can't really call them permanent implants, because no implant lasts forever. I hate the thought of having surgery again, but it will be nice to get one more thing out of the way. This is outpatient.

The saline/silicone decision is a big one and I can't seem to find a definitive answer to satisfy me. I'll probably go with saline, although what I've seen makes me nervous, about them being water bags and also "hard". All the implants have silicone outer shells, so no matter what, you are putting silicone inside you. That doesn't worry me too much.

With the silicone implant, a rupture is difficult to determine. Sometimes you have to have an MRI to confirm it. With saline, a rupture is immediately noticeable--a lot like a flat tire on a bike--get the picture. At the surgeon's office they call it a "social emergency". Great.

No matter what, they'll never be as good as nature. And you know what, I miss the old ones. They weren't perfect, that's for sure, but they had some "life" to them. They squished and were comfortable. I've even had to learn to sleep differently, because these babies don't move, even a little. The good part is that stairs and running are no problem.

Being the bionic woman has its trade-offs, just like anything else.

One of my favorite baldies...

I've gotten over the anger of being bald. I've gotten over the whole idea of being bald. I can feel the wind blow through my less-than-full peach fuzz (which isn't peach). While an enjoyable sensation, it still brings a little mourning with it.

I don't remember not to scratch my head vigorously until it's too late. I don't remember not to wring out my pony tail in the shower, even after all this time. And I anxiously await my new growth. The bank teller taking my house payment yesterday had beautiful gray hair. While I'm sure it would be a big adjustment to see myself with a full head of gray hair, I'll just be glad to see myself with a full head of hair, period.

I went outdoors yesterday without wig or hat. Just sunglasses. Handyman was taken aback for a moment. We realized it was a "first". First bald day of the season. I glanced at myself in the window of the car.

Since #1 has had strep throat all weekend, we have watched 963 episodes of Star Trek:Next Generation. (Thankfully, season three.) I remembered that there are bald people I really enjoy seeing.



I told the girls about how when I first saw Jean-Luc Picard, I was appalled that they would cast a bald man as captain of the Enterprise. I was disappointed! How could a bald man be masculine enough to carry off such a role? But I was interested in the series enough to stick with it, even so.

And what did I learn? How lacking in taste I could be. Bald is beautiful, Baby!

My command for my hair? "Engage!"

glacial change

That title does not mean that I do not appreciate my situation. I feel great, absolutely 100% me--which means tired. My hair is truly growing. But it will be a long time until anyone can appreciate it besides me.

My fingernails continue to entertain and embarrass me. The original "smashed" marks on four of them are growing out ever so slowly. And now you can see they all look yellowed and ridge-y. The index fingernail on my left hand is detached to about halfway down. And now there is dirt under the nail, halfway down, where even dental floss can't reach it. Yuck. It's sort of a silt line. Very appetizing at dinner or when meeting new people.

Today I notice that the thumbnail on that hand also has what looks like a little air bubble underneath it. That is how the index fingernail situation started out. I'm wondering if it too is going to give up the ghost. Frankly, I'm okay with that. It is a continuous reminder that the meds did their job and now they are done. As these nails grow out and get trimmed away, I will be emerging from my old shell too.

Hopefully with hair!

Taking inventory

I am late in posting this picture from Christmas week. From the left, there's me with my "hair", then Needa who lunched with me at chemo (and makes the best chicken pot pie), then LD, who knitted umpteen awesome hats for me way down in TX, and KS, who coordinated all the meals you brought us and she drove me to the hospital to have #3 (oh and helped Needa and my other buds paint my kitchen the same day.) Merry Christmas!

Today is the day after Day 14--the official day when my white-cell blood count should start heading back to normal. Of course, #3 played with a "coughing girl" at Awana, it was reported to me. And of course, #3 now has a runny/stuffy nose...so we'll see. But even if, I think we'll conquer it.

That being said, here's the current situation: No hair, but lots of little pricklies--that don't hurt anymore. They're not new. They're what refused to go! Here's to the tough hair that hung in there, no matter what! Yea tough hair!

My fingertips are all touchy. Like each one has been tapped well with a hammer. I'll be glad for this one to go. Fingernails are tough and cracky.

Tongue seems to be on the mend. I gorged myself at my mother's last night on lasagna and garlic bread and halibut dip and cocktail weenies and a great salad brought by Aibrean with goat cheese and cashews and craisins and sliced pear--good heavens--I'll have to post that recipe. Also, salsa tasted tomato-y to me yesterday at lunchtime. That was a shocker. Maybe I won't have to keep drinking limeade.

My right eye twitches all the time--how that is related to chemo, I don't know but it never did it before and has done it consistently throughout.

My GI system is not totally itself yet either, but definitely tolerable.

So far everyone, to a person, loves my "hair". Everyone says I look way younger. Okay, so I looked haggard and aged before. And I always thought a pony tail took off ten years--might have to rethink this.

So today's poll is...what color do you think my hair will be when it comes back??

Bouncin' back, albeit slower

Well--chemo went off without a hitch last Friday. Needa came and brought mexican food to eat lunch with me. My counts were on the low side, borderline anemic, but nothing to require any prescriptions or delay. I sat next to a little older lady who is battling late-stage colon cancer...ugh, poor thing.

At the end, I got to "ring the bell" since it was my last treatment. I even bolted out without picking up a reminder card for my three-month follow-up. I am supposed to start taking Tamoxifen in about three weeks and that will be for about 5 YEARS! So, menopause, here I come!

When I left chemo, I began a giant commute to pick up kids and drop off kids. When I finally ended up back at my house, after dark, I came into a freshly-cleaned house! It was all cleaned up, including the Christmas tree--taken down and put away! My friend SP, who had my girls all day, had brought her four and my three back to the house after lunch, and those kids spent all afternoon cleaning up. They even finished off with a pot of tulips (my fave) on the kitchen island. She said it was their service project for the week! What a GIANT blessing! I couldn't get over it. They even got me on video tape, shrieking about what a blessing I can never repay!

Then we turned right back around and drove #2 and her friends to a guest party at the Arthur Murray Studio where she is taking ballroom dance lessons. They had a great time and I won a $20 Panera gift card!

The weekend was mostly a blur, as Handyman got home Friday evening, but worked from dawn to midnight on Saturday and left again on Sunday morning! But he's back now, in time for the biggest snowfall in our tenure here. I'm really not even sure that we can bust out of our driveway today, but we'll see.

I'm really tired. Don't know if it's the weather (yeah), the cold (yeah), the mid-winter slo-work panic (yeah)or just borderline anemia. But, I'm taking my vitamins and sleeping in when I can. And counting down the days until my hair starts coming back!!

LAST CHEMO TOMORROW!

Yippee! I saw the nurse at the plastic surgeon today...she removed the steri strips from the little surgery on New Year's Eve. No more blue blob!

Got several compliments on my "hair" from people who don't know. So hilarious! I want to say, "you can buy one too!"

Needa is having lunch with me at chemo tomorrow--I don't think they'll let us bring sparklers or anything, though. I had brunch here this morning with SP and TO. TO brought me a big meal of enchiladas for tomorrow night or Saturday, to feed poor Handyman. SP is keeping all the womenfolk while I go tomorrow.

My parental units have fed me several times this week, just out of charity. I'm feeling great. #1 is going off to middle school on Monday, so I have to get up to drive her to that. Life is changin' all over the place...

Benefits of having no hair

1. mustache has fallen out as well
2. of course, no shaving of legs or armpits!
3. getting ready takes NO time
4. shower is really fast
5. only one towel necessary for shower
6. "Hair" looks pretty good all the time


Disadvantages of having no hair

1. can't wear wig under hats to barn, so "hair" must be removed before going out
2. can't wear wig while doing intensive cooking/baking
3. stubbly head can be uncomfortable on pillow
4. seeing bald head in mirror is very irritating
5. wig feels somewhat hat-like, have to remember not to take it off when arriving somewhere!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack...and balder than ever!

Okay, that's not really me...she has more hair.

I took an extended holiday break and am back in the saddle again. Okay, I wish I was back in a saddle again. I had my third chemo last Friday (1/2), dragged through the weekend, which included the Indianapolis Colts pulling up lame in overtime and limping back to their stable on the west side. Although the Colts are done for the season, I am rebounding much more successfully than they. I feel pretty well back to my old self now, PTL.

That means I have one more treatment and I'm D-O-N-E. Fine with me. I love my wig. It is warm and mostly comfortable. I am OVER being bald. I get irritated when I pass the bathroom mirror in the morning and see that I am, still bald. I continue to be surprised by it, actually. I suppose you don't get quickly over an entire lifetime of viewing yourself WITH hair. I am glad I had it shaved off and I'm a teensy bit proud that there is still hair on most of my head, albeit stubbly, little blackish hair. I am thrilled that all the hair on my legs fell out! LOL!

I have been careful to remember the warnings of the precious wig ladies, "Stay away from hot ovens and steaming pots!" This has made cooking very entertaining for the kids as I dash around the kitchen flinging my wig onto chair posts so I can lean into the oven to check the cake or whatnot! Then there was #1 leaning in the front door and yelling, "Mom! Grandma is here--put on your hair!"

Sleeping on stubble is a little challenging. I have not struggled with being cold at night, but stubble pokes back as it's wiggled around on the pillow...and I'm surprised at how gently you can scratch your scalp and get the job done. I cannot quit trying to wring out my ponytail in the shower. My hands just automatically go there and do that! But getting ready is a complete breeze. #1 even said she wanted to shave her head and wear a wig because "Mom's hair always looks great!" It's great to have some good memories of this time.

The only "down" thing that is going on is that my fingertips are more sensitive. It has to do with my fingernails, I'm sure. They are not growing and feel very thick and odd. They don't look weird, but I can't use them to pry things open, etc. Then I pinched one in the chicken gate this morning and thought I would cry!

My taste continues to be DULL with a capital Duh...which could be bad as I have a desire to keep eating things, thinking it will make them taste better. A friend bought me several boxes of Altoids as a treat, on the tip of a BC survivor who remembered the tasteless days of chemo. The Altoids are a treat for me, although they taste about like Dentyne--but even that is a treat.

Still have never told my FIL about my diagnosis or surgery, at all. Over Christmas we were all gathered at my parents' house and he looked at me and said, "I still can't get used to your hair." I just laughed and said, "Neither can I!"

Thanks everyone again for your prayers and good wishes. I got one of my favorite things on Christmas Eve--a seed catalog! It'll keep me dreaming through these last few weeks of yuck.

Hair today--gone today!

Well, last night I came to grips with my hair loss. I decided I had wallowed in the mire long enough. I was dwelling on something that is temporary, albeit somewhat traumatic, but still doesn't need to drag me to the edge of sanity (and with me, several other little women). Anyway, I was sick of looking like Willie Loman and sick of hair everywhere and just plain decided to slap that door shut and move on.

This morning I took a shower hoping that would soothe some of the itchy, irritated feeling and it didn't really do that, but I did have one big rodent-sized clump slide down the back of my leg. Ick! I combed out a lot more and got ready for the wig ladies.

That place was hopping when we got there. DF and I had fun waiting, perusing the ponytails and falls and braidy things and hats. Finally, when I got shown in, Fran the owner commented that I had a lot less hair than when she saw me a week ago. They asked if I wanted it shaved off and I said I guess. I'm so sick of it on my pillow and in my clothes, but shaving one's head is not a cake walk. Still, I pictured Sigourney Weaver in Alien and put on my best brave face, since there were several folks watching. I opted not to watch in the mirror and waited until it was over to take a peek.

Yikes! Boy is my head pale! with black stubbly stuff. Anyway, now I wish I'd gotten a little longer of a wig, but DF said it was really cute and she liked it a lot. The girls visiting tonight liked it and so did #2. Handyman is almost too tired to comment.

The best part of the trip--other than getting cute hair--was learning the t-shirt trick! Take a man's t-shirt and measure up from the bottom hem 15" and cut off the bottom. Take that circle of shirt, position the hem across the front of your forehead, with the remainder hanging down over the back of your shoulders. Twist the two sides around one another behind your head 4x and then bring the twist up and over to the front of your forehead. You now have a completely covering turban twist--so cute! Any color--costs NOTHING! Handyman has about 647 different colored t-shirts in his drawer. Can't wait! Can't wait.

I got to meet Survivormom, who gave me her $20 stash of wig shampoo and conditioner--because SHE DOESN'T NEED IT ANYMORE. She promised me that this too shall pass. And she has cute hair to prove it.

DF sent me home with chicken noodle soup for supper (gone already), zucchini bread, a big vat of my favorite body shop lotion and a yummy air freshener for my car--(Guess horse manure and dog hair isn't on her favorites list.)

Dad and Handyman are building stall doors tomorrow, in a hurry before the big chill on Sunday. Don't know if I'm brave enough to photograph my baldness just yet...

I'll leave you with this image

All is not lost!

I'm improving each day--even went out with Handyman for some retail therapy last night at Costco! The hideous hair watch gets more grizzly each day...can't wait to get the wig tomorrow.

The upshot is that the Tribble hat is terrific for indoor wear! It doesn't cover my ears and lays on top like a little cat! I feel crowned.

I am able to enjoy spicy nacho Doritos as opposed to plain ole and I could tell that our salsa from Costco was spicy. Tardy thanks to Survivormom who sent the Turtle Cheesecake with DF on Saturday. We are still enjoying it!

Ack! The wig ladies (who I love!) just called to say my wig is in, but they're both out tomorrow for emergencies and if I want them to trim it for me, I'll have to wait until FRIDAY! You know what that means?? #1 wants to use the hot glue gun to glue bangs into all my hats, just in case...

Perfect description

I did take shower today but didn't shampoo my hairs. I dampened them a little and watched a lot of them flow down the drain, but I couldn't take the big plunge before the slumber party tonight.

As I was delivering #3 to a playdate, in my black hat the mom just knitted for me, I recognized myself in the rearview mirror...I have become------ Mr. Collins!!



I couldn't find any pictures with the greasy bangs plastered to his forehead, but that would be exactly me...

It was so fun!

TO and SP went out to eat with me on Monday night and I stuffed myself. We had a great time and laughed, really loud, on the way out as we discussed hair falling out and husbands! Very, very fun and worthwhile. Probably killed off dozens of cancer cells just laughing that hard--not that I have any left...

I had a dream last night that my hair came off in a big handful from the back of my head and I started crying, a lot. I was surprised that I was crying, because we have been preparing ourselves for this. Talking about it; laughing about it; counting down the days, etc. So I was surprised that I was crying.

Then I woke up. Then I drove the 4 million miles to this wig store that is supposed to have great customer service and be so wonderful. Lucky (not really luck--PTL) for me, it is right by DF's house and I don't ever get to see her enough, so I could combine the two. I left the piano tuner with Handyman and the chilluns and headed out for the trek.

The wig place was in this little house down south and it was sooooooooo nice! I can't even tell you. Both ladies were absolutely terrific and sweet and friendly and kind--like aunts that you'd want to visit, often. The place was cute and clean and wonderfully cozy.

Patty, the nice lady that helped me, said she thought I should try a little Katie Holmes cut, which was hysterical (God, again) because that is just what I had been thinking I wanted! How funny is that?? We tried on a couple, with a little cap, since the hair is just hanging on by its most miniscule grip. (It looks icky, greasy and flat, but I didn't want to wash it all out before the ladies could see what color it is/was.) The style I liked, they did not have in the color we decided would be best. It will be very close to the color I have naturally now (which I think is too dark), but it has some highlights on top to warm it up. I didn't want to pick a radically different color, because that would be sure to draw comments and rubber-necking (because I'm so darn attractive!).

Those ladies were awesome! I'll post the pics later. It'll arrive to them next Wednesday and we need to trim the bangs on it a little, so I'll probably go down there on Thursday to get it. It was so cute, I'm actually considering buying the lighter shade of the same hair for later in the spring, so I don't look like a cancer victim at Easter!

Let me know what you think--Remember, mine will be darker with subtle highlights on top. #1 thinks I look like TO, she loved it! The back is very cute and the sides can be tucked behind my ear, or swing forward a little on my cheeks. This picture looks a little more boring than I thought it looked in real life...we'll see next week!


How about all those cuties behind me?? (Just like God to make me look better during chemo than I did before!)

Gotta feed horses and then head off for Awana. Chemo in the a.m., then birthday slumber party on Friday night. Then Handyman and I are going to try to go see Quantum of Solace on Saturday! Thanks for all the positive vibes and mostly, your prayers, which have availed much.

Hittin' the wig merchant tomorrow

Okay, I have barely combed my hair since Saturday night, and it shows. Every morning when I wake up, it is standing up straight on top. I gently press it down toward my head, pull my bangs over my forehead and go with it. Now it's greasy and today I didn't let it get under the warm water of the shower. I figured it would be gone in a jiffy and I wanted to retain some until I can get to the wig lady.

Walking through the StuffMart parking lot, we were joking that there was a brown trail flying out behind my head, but I think I didn't lose too much. By the afternoon I reverted to a baseball hat just to avoid seeing the greaz.

BTW, my dad has shaved his head. What a guy! Hopefully by tomorrow night, I'll have a new look, or at least something to ward off wind chill. Gotta hit the hay.