Don't go getting soft on me...

At my quarterly check-up with the oncologist in January, I had asked about a bone-density test. I don't know what prompted that, I probably read something about post-chemo bone loss. Anyway, she scheduled me for one and thankfully, they called to remind me about the appt, because I didn't have it in my book. The test was quick and painless and I saw the oncologist again in April.

She said I have osteopenia in my hip and spine with a grade of -2.2 in each. The cut-off for osteoporosis is -2.5, so I guess I was getting close. She told me to take 1500 mg. of calcium a day and about 4 bushels of raisin bran to counteract the calcium, if you get my drift.

I told her that I was riding horses and could in no way be breaking any bones. I told her that my MIL had taken the IV bone builder Reclast a year ago, and her osteopenia was GONE--could I take that?

She was excited to know that I wanted to adress the issue more aggressively and told me that the drug Zometa, developed for bone cancer, has the same active ingredient as Reclast, but has shown the unexpected side effect of preventing recurrence of breast cancer. So, if I was going to do the IV thing, she would want me to do Zometa. And do it again in 6 months and then another bone scan.

So I did. A 30-minute IV drip in the infusion lab, which was pretty creepy really. I wanted to wear a big sign that said, "I'm just here for the bone builder." And then came the bill for $1200.

Yep, $1200. And I haven't met my deductible yet, so it's all on me. I did not have any of the side effects that I was warned of, not even sore joints, so PTL.

Lessons learned: Ask for bone density test, even if you have to pay for it. She wasn't even suggesting a stronger approach than calcium supplements until I brought it up.

BTW, she told me how disappointed she gets that many women, MANY women will not even do Tamoxifen because they don't want to have hot flashes! Sorry, cannot believe that. Hot flashes versus cancer...hmmm...

It's summer and the living is easy...

Just a note to say that life is good at Netherfield. In the past month, I have had my exchange surgery, a new dog, two children in two different plays, closing ceremonies for Awana (twice), 4H dog program start-up, a truckload of daylilies to plant (seriously), a dryer full of red bubblegum, dance lessons, a weekend scrapbook project for 8th grade language arts, and a whole lot of driving!

It is hectic and normal. And who couldn't ask for more normalcy? On the "front" front--my exchange surgery came quickly as I was on the "bump up" list. So they called whenever there was a surgery cancellation, which worked well for me. I love my new look. I was a little disheartened by my tissue expanders. They didn't seem symetrical and they were blocky and hard.

She asked me pre-op if I was happy with the size and I told her no, to err on the side of smaller. I decided bigger wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and I was thankful to have lived with them for a few months before I had to make the choice. She said, no problem, they had "racks" of them back there in the OR. So I opted for smaller and I am very pleased.

I'm going to wrap up this blog and move back to Netherfield--where the fodder is more interesting! I am so thankful to all of you who have had a hand, or a dish, in my recovery. I am a better person for it and I hope you will all know how much your care and love has meant to me.

MUST READ--do not pass go--Head straight to the library

My precious Aunt Paula, who came to cook and clean and love my children while I had surgery last October, sent me a copy of a newspaper article from her town paper. It was an interview with Dr. David Servan-Schrieber, a clinical professor of psychology, who found his own brain tumor 17 years ago. It was cancerous.

The interview was headlined, "Can you really prevent cancer?" which is a bit of an overstatement, but attention-grabbing nonetheless. The interview was interesting enough that I requested my library purchase Dr. Servan-Schrieber's book, Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life. They did and I have just finished it.

Everyone needs to read this book. Everyone. It's not a hocus-pocus--you-can-prevent-cancer book. It's an interesting story about taking control of what you can control and the power of the human body. How our modern lifestyles have aided us in supressing our bodies' abilities to defend themselves and how we can alter our "terrain" in our favor.

I could go on and on, but I'd rather you take the time to find the book and read it firsthand. Anti Cancer, A New Way of Life

Cancer patients and survivors--especially breast cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer, throat cancer and ovarian cancer are especially mentioned. I would like to buy a copy to give my oncologist at my next visit. Dr. Servan-Schrieber mentioned several times about his own oncologists never mentioning diet or exercise, although there are studies that demonstrate absolute results from both...

There are lists of good foods, exercise info regarding yoga and karate, and meditation and stress management.

I will tip you off that the "big three" foods that make a difference are: broccoli, green tea and the spice turmeric (which must be mixed with black pepper to be absorbed.)

Bouncin' back, albeit slower

Well--chemo went off without a hitch last Friday. Needa came and brought mexican food to eat lunch with me. My counts were on the low side, borderline anemic, but nothing to require any prescriptions or delay. I sat next to a little older lady who is battling late-stage colon cancer...ugh, poor thing.

At the end, I got to "ring the bell" since it was my last treatment. I even bolted out without picking up a reminder card for my three-month follow-up. I am supposed to start taking Tamoxifen in about three weeks and that will be for about 5 YEARS! So, menopause, here I come!

When I left chemo, I began a giant commute to pick up kids and drop off kids. When I finally ended up back at my house, after dark, I came into a freshly-cleaned house! It was all cleaned up, including the Christmas tree--taken down and put away! My friend SP, who had my girls all day, had brought her four and my three back to the house after lunch, and those kids spent all afternoon cleaning up. They even finished off with a pot of tulips (my fave) on the kitchen island. She said it was their service project for the week! What a GIANT blessing! I couldn't get over it. They even got me on video tape, shrieking about what a blessing I can never repay!

Then we turned right back around and drove #2 and her friends to a guest party at the Arthur Murray Studio where she is taking ballroom dance lessons. They had a great time and I won a $20 Panera gift card!

The weekend was mostly a blur, as Handyman got home Friday evening, but worked from dawn to midnight on Saturday and left again on Sunday morning! But he's back now, in time for the biggest snowfall in our tenure here. I'm really not even sure that we can bust out of our driveway today, but we'll see.

I'm really tired. Don't know if it's the weather (yeah), the cold (yeah), the mid-winter slo-work panic (yeah)or just borderline anemia. But, I'm taking my vitamins and sleeping in when I can. And counting down the days until my hair starts coming back!!

LAST CHEMO TOMORROW!

Yippee! I saw the nurse at the plastic surgeon today...she removed the steri strips from the little surgery on New Year's Eve. No more blue blob!

Got several compliments on my "hair" from people who don't know. So hilarious! I want to say, "you can buy one too!"

Needa is having lunch with me at chemo tomorrow--I don't think they'll let us bring sparklers or anything, though. I had brunch here this morning with SP and TO. TO brought me a big meal of enchiladas for tomorrow night or Saturday, to feed poor Handyman. SP is keeping all the womenfolk while I go tomorrow.

My parental units have fed me several times this week, just out of charity. I'm feeling great. #1 is going off to middle school on Monday, so I have to get up to drive her to that. Life is changin' all over the place...

Hair today--gone today!

Well, last night I came to grips with my hair loss. I decided I had wallowed in the mire long enough. I was dwelling on something that is temporary, albeit somewhat traumatic, but still doesn't need to drag me to the edge of sanity (and with me, several other little women). Anyway, I was sick of looking like Willie Loman and sick of hair everywhere and just plain decided to slap that door shut and move on.

This morning I took a shower hoping that would soothe some of the itchy, irritated feeling and it didn't really do that, but I did have one big rodent-sized clump slide down the back of my leg. Ick! I combed out a lot more and got ready for the wig ladies.

That place was hopping when we got there. DF and I had fun waiting, perusing the ponytails and falls and braidy things and hats. Finally, when I got shown in, Fran the owner commented that I had a lot less hair than when she saw me a week ago. They asked if I wanted it shaved off and I said I guess. I'm so sick of it on my pillow and in my clothes, but shaving one's head is not a cake walk. Still, I pictured Sigourney Weaver in Alien and put on my best brave face, since there were several folks watching. I opted not to watch in the mirror and waited until it was over to take a peek.

Yikes! Boy is my head pale! with black stubbly stuff. Anyway, now I wish I'd gotten a little longer of a wig, but DF said it was really cute and she liked it a lot. The girls visiting tonight liked it and so did #2. Handyman is almost too tired to comment.

The best part of the trip--other than getting cute hair--was learning the t-shirt trick! Take a man's t-shirt and measure up from the bottom hem 15" and cut off the bottom. Take that circle of shirt, position the hem across the front of your forehead, with the remainder hanging down over the back of your shoulders. Twist the two sides around one another behind your head 4x and then bring the twist up and over to the front of your forehead. You now have a completely covering turban twist--so cute! Any color--costs NOTHING! Handyman has about 647 different colored t-shirts in his drawer. Can't wait! Can't wait.

I got to meet Survivormom, who gave me her $20 stash of wig shampoo and conditioner--because SHE DOESN'T NEED IT ANYMORE. She promised me that this too shall pass. And she has cute hair to prove it.

DF sent me home with chicken noodle soup for supper (gone already), zucchini bread, a big vat of my favorite body shop lotion and a yummy air freshener for my car--(Guess horse manure and dog hair isn't on her favorites list.)

Dad and Handyman are building stall doors tomorrow, in a hurry before the big chill on Sunday. Don't know if I'm brave enough to photograph my baldness just yet...

I'll leave you with this image

Home from chemo!

Hey--all went well! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and help! We saw the doc; she has sent my blood off for the onco-type test. Results are not back yet. I had an iv drug for nausea, 2 chemo drugs, a shot for white blood cell build-up and another drug that I can't remember right now.

No kind of reaction to anything so far. Not even bad taste in my mouth or anything. PTL. Got lots of advice from the nurse. She gave me a brochure for hats that come with ponytails! Yea! And a hat catalog that has wigs and even a little wig cap that only has hair around the edges, to wear under hats. That might be the best solution yet.

Came home (with a yummy meal from Needa), moved some laundry through, cleaned cat boxes and now laying down for a nap--just because I CAN! Onward and upward!

Here we go!

Chugging up that dark Space Mountain hill that is...Space Mountain, the dark roller coaster at Disneyworld begins by the slow ascent through "NASA Space Command", the only lighted area until you disembark. Behind the glass windows are the mannequin space controllers and the top of the hill is, well, dark. Who knows what waits beyond?? That's me.

But first, here's my hair: The back--with the ponytail that AC saved so Handyman could tuck it into his pillow and pet it if he wants. (There was more hair than that, she just cut that first, leaving her a generous length to work with.) How about those waves!



And, here's the front:



Pretty cute, I think! At the dinner table, #1 told me I could pass for 30!! And #2 said I looked like a teenager from the 70's. (This was said in complimentary fashion.) I told her I WAS a teenager in the 70's. When we got to Awana, people were falling all over themselves telling me that it looked great--most of them not knowing the reason I got it cut. I kept wanting to say, "Well, love it while you can!" Even men noticed. I guess I must have looked pretty old and haggard before!!

When we got home from dropping off the kids (separately), Handyman had a little surprise for me: Ben & Jerry's CHUBBY HUBBY! I don't think I've had Chubby Hubby in 5 years or more. I didn't even know they still made it! We ate it straight from the tub, on our bed while we watched Ocean's 12. That was a fun movie and I already have Oceans 13 sitting on the armoire, ready to go (from the library). We signed up for Netflix yesterday morning.

I honestly am not scared. I usually respond well to medicine, so I am hoping to soak up all the anti-nausea meds they offer and just muddle through. Handyman is taking me because they require you to bring someone the first time. I can't make him sit there for three hours though, because he has stall mats to work on--tee hee! So, Needa is going to come over towards the end time and bring me home. Plus she wants to borrow my Bill O'Reilly book for her drive to NY.

We had a great meal from SR last night, a baked ziti dish that was enough for two meals. It was great to have ready before leaving for Awana. #1 is going to school with her best bud all day today. This is the first time she has gone to school since Kindergarten. I hope she can write off some school-related myths she's been carrying around forever.

All three princesses will be getting together at Mimi & Papa's tonight to watch their tivo'd Dancing With the Stars results night and barring any serious worshipping of the porcelain god here at home, they'll all be in their own beds tonight. I'm pretty sure that chemo is also an innoculation against all future zits, cold sores, hemmorhoids, warts, bunions and ingrown toenails...at least it should be, in my book.

Thanks again for all the prayers and heartfelt goodwishes. Thanks to the Lord for chemo! Cheers!

Better

I was better yesterday. Hopefully it wasn't just the distraction of my friend, CD, who brought me a meal for today! Yea! Handyman graciously doffs his cap again and again to all of you who have contributed so generously to his nutritional needs. He is really over tostito crumbs with cheese melted in the microwave...did I mention that I am way okay with "rut eating"? My dad taught me this by insisting that mom cook in industrial-size batches EVERY meal. That way he could eat the leftovers for several days. And believe me, my mom doesn't throw out anything. You eat and re-save it over and over until there is more mass of green fungi than food.

When I got married, I didn't realize there was any use for smallish pots and pans. Then I learned that Handyman is okay with leftovers and he is frugal, but he is not a rut-eater like us. He doesn't do the "Friday Night Spaghetti" thing, every week the same. And, he has catered food at work. Now that isn't always as excited as you think--sometimes the "caterer" is Papa John's or Jimmie John's or someother John's. But sometimes it's a two-entree choice with vegetable sides and a soup.

ANYWAY--he is VERY thankful to all of you who have made the drive to Netherfield to sustain him. So I got to visit with CD, for the first time in a year and then went to Mom and Dad's for the first real meal I have eaten in a couple days and it was good--meatloaf with mashed potatoes and tomato-soup gravy. Then we watched Dancing With the Stars as is our habit.

#3 ate her meatloaf and her potatoes but mostly ate sweet pickles and olives and then had a big rootbeer float. Then Mom realized that she had forgotten to put out the deviled eggs! So, of course she got those out and #3 had one of those too. By this time I was popping a couple of antacid tablets and here came #3 breathing deviled egg/root beer breath in my face and it was almost too much for me. I told Mom, if I had to clean up puked-up root beer with deviled egg, I was going to kill her! Then, #3 says, "My belly hurts." and I look pointedly at Mom.

Fortunately, her digestive system was up to the strain. Mine is still in recovery mode. I did eat peanut butter toast this morning and in honor of my Gammie, I put butter under the peanut butter, because that's how she did it (and it's GREAT). That's the first morning I've wanted/eaten breakfast in several. So, improvement.

I have also scheduled myself for a 1/2 hour massage next Friday. My neck is kinked something fierce and I'm willing to pay for help. In fact, I may just make it a standing appointment because I can use my health savings account to pay for it! Needa's SIL is a massage therapist, so I have an "in".

So, I don't have to worry about food tonight and there's a chicken pot pie in the freezer for tomorrow after church! And then, there's a smoked chicken for later in the week...thank you Lord for FRIENDS!

Up and down

Had my visit with the surgeon. He said he'd see me in 6 months and he doesn't know why I have a large blob of blue ink still in a strategic place. He found that pretty weird and promised me it would go away. I'm glad because if I was going to get a tatoo there, it would've been a little fancier.

He promised that my arms would be equally good when I finished healing. He encouraged me to stretch the painful one and not baby it. He doesn't want me to have my armpit aspirated again unless it is worse than it was when I saw him. And I do not think it is worse.

However, I feel sort of yukky. I have achy stomach and some tenderness at the bottom of my sternum. I could not get comfortable last night and ended up chewing two pepto bismol tablets and that settled me down. Then I woke up again at 2 and felt the same and fortunately had two tablets left. My eyes sort of popped open then and I thought, "I wonder if I have an ulcer."

Gee, I don't know--teenage angst ongoing issues (for oh 5 years now), in-law related stress on many topics, including hospitalization this week for my FIL, breast cancer, election trauma and I was on Celebrex for 10 days...can't see why I'd feel too stressed.

Sure enough, I looked it up online--the source of all knowledge--and it seems possible. My symptoms seem to fit. So I'm waiting on a call from the surgeon's nurse to see if they'll just call something in for me to see what'll happen.

My energy is good, other than this yukkiness and election depression. It was great to see all my cousins at the funeral yesterday. Handyman looked so great in his suit and my girls looked really grown up too. We got to see Auntie P., Uncle N. and Grandma from WVA there as well. A bonus for the girls!

My cousin Jules tried to tell Handyman that she read that you should never vacuum once you've been diagnosed with breast cancer--that it is off the list FOR GOOD! I don't think he was buying it. Gotta go, the dust bunnies have lifted the bed off the floor.

Catch Up

Well, Tonya brought us some food on Thursday afternoon, which I planned to make for supper on Friday, since we were going to my parents' house on Thursday night. Handyman saw the food, or maybe sniffed it out, and announced that we were having it for lunch, right then and there!

Tonya was somewhat frightened at the eating that went on around the table that day. Handyman, #1 and I announced that it was the best meal we'd had for three days. (Don't even ask what we had on Wednesday before Awana. Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe it.) Anyway, we just finished Tonya's pan of yummy enchiladas today. We've eaten on it for about 5 meals or so. THANK YOU TONYA! She also brought yummy pumpkin bread with icing and rice and beans. So appreciated.

Today, I dropped off #2 to go with Needa to her weekend cabin. Needa handed me a smoked chicken, frozen and sealed and three chicken potpies for the freezer. I'm still not sure who got the better end of that swap... ;)

BFF Debbie is coming Monday with something yummy from her and from PB as well. So, 2, 2, 2 meals in one trip! Woohooo! (That is really Handyman and the kids cheering--I think they're looking to trade me in on an upgrade or something.) Cindy is bringing us something yummy on Wednesday, to avoid that whole Awana/meal crisis that happened even when I wasn't incapacitated. Then, we also have a standing invite for CCW to come up here and make us amazing applesauce pancakes; so I'll be plugging that in sometime soon.

I also received a gift bag chock full o'wonders from the Whitaker b'day party that I missed last weekend. The piece getting the most mileage is the singing hamster card, that now travels with us, because you cannot fail to smile when there's a singing hamster in your car.

I did see the PA at the plastic surgeon's office yesterday, hoping to get my drain out. I told her that my left armpit was swollen and uncomfortably numb and she poked around on it and decided she would drain some fluid out with a syringe. Well, that went on and on and on and she kept saying things like, "Well, you've surprised me." End result: she drained 150 cc of serrous fluid out from under my arm. She said it is not something to be scared about and she may have to do it again. The drain that is still in does not drain that area. So, I'll go back in Monday afternoon to have the drain out (PTL) and perhaps get a re-suction.

I see Dr. T. the surgeon on Tuesday afternoon and that is when he will give me the full run-down on "my recipe" of cancer and recommend me to an Oncologist. I don't know if that appt. will already be set up or I will make it.

I'd say I feel about 80%. The armpit thing is holding me back a little. I am scooping poop, albeit with the kiddie poop fork, so that the loads aren't as heavy and I do that once in the morning. I would like to strip my bed, but haven't taken on that. The vacuum needs run upstairs, but I'm not doing that, but I did get the kitchen cleaned yesterday, for all of 42.5 minutes before it was undone. The weather is so beautiful it is a shame not to be riding horses, but I know that would be too much, too. Bummer.

Check out my other blog later to see new pictures of the "tree house" in progress.

Tomorrow is my 17th wedding anniversary! Yea! Which probably means that I get to go out to eat--yea!

Note to Auntie P. and Grandma R.: The house is falling to shambles without you! #3 asked, "why did they have to go back to WVA?!"

So what's it feel like to be rebuilt?? Imagine duct-taping a full waistpack to your chest so that it doesn't move. That's it. You know it's not you, but it's not going anywhere, so you might as well adjust. Weird.

Turning on the batlight--

Okay Friends: You've all been begging me and now, now it's time to turn you loose! The batlight has been lit on top of the house, only it's not a bat silhouette, but an outline of a waiter holding a tray with the lid lifted, and steam wafting.

There's no food goin' on here since Auntie P. left for them hills of W.Va. Last night's dinner: some 3-day old lasagna and a frozen pizza. Tonight, #2 and #3 got fed at a friend's and #1, Handyman and I had frozen fish sticks, microwaved baked potatoes and a drink. Handyman is downstairs right now, eating Triscuits and hummus. #2 hasn't seen a vegetable in almost a week.

If he knew the code to get on here, he'd have signaled before now (because all of you cook better than I do!) So, if you want to help out, this is your time. Frankly, by the end of a day, I have made it through and want to sit on my bed, soak up a pain pill and read a book. I did unload the dishwasher today, carried some clean jeans upstairs, fed horses, drove to dermatologist, went to bank, fed lunch to whomever would eat and found a really cute horse on the internet...oh, and looked at the biology cd and supervised litterbox cleaning. A big day, really.

You can't know how much he'll appreciate it...