Wilkommen and sayonara

Lots going on around here--let me just say that when I have been whining and wishing for hair, I did not intend for hair to return to MY UPPER LIP! I think you should get to avoid that forever once you have had parts of your body removed/replaced. There is hair on my head. Each of my children have commented on it separately. It mostly looks colorless, although that cannot be the complete truth, since I notice a "five o'clock shadow"ishness to the top of my head. And today, before church, I swear it looked a little "spotty" for lack of a better term. I've been afraid to look since then.

And there is hair on my legs and I still have a numb armpit, which makes shaving a daredevil activity!

My fingernails, on the other hand, seem to be going the way of the dodo. More and more of them are "letting go" as it were. Lifting themselves off and taking on a yellowish hue. Ick. I suppose it didn't help that I washed the pony's tail yesterday with no gloves on. Equine hygiene is high on my list, here.

I have got to get walking now, as exercise was very high on the list of Ways to Avoid Recurrence, in the book I just finished, Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life. Cutting back on sugar is also big and I will be wrestling with that.

I am so thankful to be mucking my own stalls. I know that's an odd thought, but I think it everyday. I remember asking my surgeon how soon I would be back to my old habits and he promised by the holidays (past). And thankfully, he was right. I can lift and carry and work just like always--WHAT A BLESSING! I know breast surgery has changed so dramatically within my adult lifetime. I'm so glad I got to come in at the better end of that arc.

I will be having my exchange surgery sometime in the next month, I think. Where they replace the soft tissue expanders (that were inserted in my original surgery), with saline or silicone implants. I can't really call them permanent implants, because no implant lasts forever. I hate the thought of having surgery again, but it will be nice to get one more thing out of the way. This is outpatient.

The saline/silicone decision is a big one and I can't seem to find a definitive answer to satisfy me. I'll probably go with saline, although what I've seen makes me nervous, about them being water bags and also "hard". All the implants have silicone outer shells, so no matter what, you are putting silicone inside you. That doesn't worry me too much.

With the silicone implant, a rupture is difficult to determine. Sometimes you have to have an MRI to confirm it. With saline, a rupture is immediately noticeable--a lot like a flat tire on a bike--get the picture. At the surgeon's office they call it a "social emergency". Great.

No matter what, they'll never be as good as nature. And you know what, I miss the old ones. They weren't perfect, that's for sure, but they had some "life" to them. They squished and were comfortable. I've even had to learn to sleep differently, because these babies don't move, even a little. The good part is that stairs and running are no problem.

Being the bionic woman has its trade-offs, just like anything else.