Just passed my 18th anniversary with the Handyman. That means in two weeks it will be the 20th anniversary of our first date...it was the Monday before Thanksgiving. He wouldn't even spring for dinner...just "a drink". Jiminy Crickets! But, I wore him down. We can spend three figures on a dinner for two nowadays--no problem. We love to eat.
But I digress...I was going to say that I actually liked my hair when we went out for our anniversary. It was pretty cute, and so completely easy. I'm pretty much in love with the easy part, if I can just avoid looking into a mirror as I go out the door.
Of course I was also wearing my all-time favorite, most flattering sweater--that is starting to wear out!!! It is a black mock-neck, 3/4 sleeves with varying width knit ribbing, wider across the chest, and narrower around the waist, so it makes you look tantalizingly trim, even if you ain't! It's some simply polyester thang that was given to me as a hand-me-down eons ago by my long-lost friend Leslie, from her sister. Don't you love those?? Won't be finding a replica of this one anytime soon. Man. (Same thing's happening to my favorite jeans. These wide leg, lightweight denim from Old Navy that I bought for $1 from my mom's next door neighbor's garage sale. Yikes. The consequences of bargain barrel shopping.)
So maybe it wasn't that I liked my hair so much as that I love my sweater and it camouflages a multitude of missing locks.
I did get a new camera for my birthday last month...just in time to take the kids to see King Tut, where NO PHOTOGRAPHY IS ALLOWED. Perfect.
I was at my friend the hairdresser's place the other day and she said I was going to need it shaped up pretty soon. But I just can't see myself letting scissors get anywhere near it, yet. It still needs to blow around a little more.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
My hair
Can I say right up front, that having hair is G-R-E-A-T. I am soooooooooo thankful to have hair, to have eyebrows and, well, hair. It's also a great source of entertainment, humor and annoyance. And I hate that I'm annoyed with the gift that I longed for...and I hate that I am in any way less than ecstatic that I have it. Does this make any sense at all??
My hair is now just a little past the "cute" stage. It has slipped easily into the pixie Peter Pan stage, with a hint of curl and bangs, if you can call them that, that remind a certain generation of Mamie Eisenhower. (Never seen her.)
Because there is about a foot-and-a-half of hair missing from the back of my head, there is plenty of waggle in the little sprouts. It's cute and, truthfully, it's REALLY, REALLY easy to deal with.
But, and it's a big BUT for me, it's boyish. And here's where I continue to remind myself that way too much of my vanity is/was wrapped up in my hair. I'm reminded of that episode of Designing Women where Annie Potts gets some falsies to try out, before she commits to an augmentation. And she gets intoxicated with the power she feels from being well-endowed. And she gets assertive and aggressive and she likes it.
I can feel a little of that, with long hair. Even if it isn't blonde.
Good, bad or indifferent, I liked it.
My hair is a little overripe on the pixie cut now and is having a hint of the overgrown shrubbery look on the top. And that little bit of wave is making it a lot of unruly, so most days I am found with a ballcap on. Thank heavens Handyman has a LOT of cool ballcaps, and I was already a ballcap wearer, albeit with a big honkin' ponytail hanging out the back.
Am I glad to have hair, any hair? Absolutely. But to me, it almost doesn't qualify if you can't put a rubber band around it!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
One Year
I haven't missed the fact that it has been a year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. No matter how much I wish to forget it or even enjoy a fictional idea that it didn't really happen to me--it did, and it's been a whole year.
Honestly, I have grown so much in that year. It's all growth I am glad to have. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but every day I think thoughts and do things a little differently. And thanks to an awesome plastic surgeon, I actually look better than I did! Ha! What a bonus!
I look at my family differently. I look at my day differently. I use my time differently. I am more merciful. I see little things as more impactful, more worthwhile. I enjoy free time more freely. I am more thankful for incidentals. Or should I say, incidentals are less incidental to me.
In a way, I am more selfish--in that I choose to place my family first, worrying less about making others happy. (Not that I make lots of people happy here--what with the whole "clean your room or the chicken house; your choice" thing! ;)
I hope to never visit breast cancer again. I want to be an old, old Christian lady, setting a good example of being gracious and faithful and not crabby! But until I get there, I want to be a good example of a faithful woman, who was thankful and vibrant and kind, and funny. And a great wife, a good mother, a kind friend and a faithful follower of Christ.
I am thankful to have been given another year to work on those goals.
Honestly, I have grown so much in that year. It's all growth I am glad to have. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but every day I think thoughts and do things a little differently. And thanks to an awesome plastic surgeon, I actually look better than I did! Ha! What a bonus!
I look at my family differently. I look at my day differently. I use my time differently. I am more merciful. I see little things as more impactful, more worthwhile. I enjoy free time more freely. I am more thankful for incidentals. Or should I say, incidentals are less incidental to me.
In a way, I am more selfish--in that I choose to place my family first, worrying less about making others happy. (Not that I make lots of people happy here--what with the whole "clean your room or the chicken house; your choice" thing! ;)
I hope to never visit breast cancer again. I want to be an old, old Christian lady, setting a good example of being gracious and faithful and not crabby! But until I get there, I want to be a good example of a faithful woman, who was thankful and vibrant and kind, and funny. And a great wife, a good mother, a kind friend and a faithful follower of Christ.
I am thankful to have been given another year to work on those goals.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
It's summer and the living is easy...
Just a note to say that life is good at Netherfield. In the past month, I have had my exchange surgery, a new dog, two children in two different plays, closing ceremonies for Awana (twice), 4H dog program start-up, a truckload of daylilies to plant (seriously), a dryer full of red bubblegum, dance lessons, a weekend scrapbook project for 8th grade language arts, and a whole lot of driving!
It is hectic and normal. And who couldn't ask for more normalcy? On the "front" front--my exchange surgery came quickly as I was on the "bump up" list. So they called whenever there was a surgery cancellation, which worked well for me. I love my new look. I was a little disheartened by my tissue expanders. They didn't seem symetrical and they were blocky and hard.
She asked me pre-op if I was happy with the size and I told her no, to err on the side of smaller. I decided bigger wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and I was thankful to have lived with them for a few months before I had to make the choice. She said, no problem, they had "racks" of them back there in the OR. So I opted for smaller and I am very pleased.
I'm going to wrap up this blog and move back to Netherfield--where the fodder is more interesting! I am so thankful to all of you who have had a hand, or a dish, in my recovery. I am a better person for it and I hope you will all know how much your care and love has meant to me.
It is hectic and normal. And who couldn't ask for more normalcy? On the "front" front--my exchange surgery came quickly as I was on the "bump up" list. So they called whenever there was a surgery cancellation, which worked well for me. I love my new look. I was a little disheartened by my tissue expanders. They didn't seem symetrical and they were blocky and hard.
She asked me pre-op if I was happy with the size and I told her no, to err on the side of smaller. I decided bigger wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and I was thankful to have lived with them for a few months before I had to make the choice. She said, no problem, they had "racks" of them back there in the OR. So I opted for smaller and I am very pleased.
I'm going to wrap up this blog and move back to Netherfield--where the fodder is more interesting! I am so thankful to all of you who have had a hand, or a dish, in my recovery. I am a better person for it and I hope you will all know how much your care and love has meant to me.
Friday, April 10, 2009
From Streams in the Desert
Streams in the Desert
April 9
Everything is against me! (Gen. 42:36)
All things God works for the good of those who love Him. (Rom 8:28)
Many people are lacking when it comes to power. But how is power produced?
The other day, my friend and I were passing by the power plant that produces electricity for the streetcars. We heard the hum and roar of the countless wheels of the turbines, and I asked my friend, "How is the power produced?" He replied, "It simply is generated by the turning of those wheels and the friction they create. The rubbing produces the electric current."
In a similar way, when God desires to create more power in your life, He creates more friction. He uses this pressure to generate spiritual power. Some people cannot handle it, and run from the pressure instead of receiving the power and using it to rise above the painful experience that produced it.
Opposition is essential to maintaining true balance between forces. It is the centripedal and centrifugal forces acting in opposition to each other that keep our planet in the proper orbit. The propelling action coupled with the repelling counteraction keep the earth in orbit around the sun instead of flinging it into space and a path of certain destruction.
God guides our lives in the same way. It is not enough to have only a propelling force. We need an equal repelling force, so He holds us back through the testing ordeals of life. The pressures of temptations and trials and all the things that seem to be against us further our progress and strengthen our foundation.
Let us thank Him for both the weights and the wings He produces. And realizing we are divinely propelled, let us press on with faith and patience in our high and heavenly calling.
A. B. Simpson
April 9
Everything is against me! (Gen. 42:36)
All things God works for the good of those who love Him. (Rom 8:28)
Many people are lacking when it comes to power. But how is power produced?
The other day, my friend and I were passing by the power plant that produces electricity for the streetcars. We heard the hum and roar of the countless wheels of the turbines, and I asked my friend, "How is the power produced?" He replied, "It simply is generated by the turning of those wheels and the friction they create. The rubbing produces the electric current."
In a similar way, when God desires to create more power in your life, He creates more friction. He uses this pressure to generate spiritual power. Some people cannot handle it, and run from the pressure instead of receiving the power and using it to rise above the painful experience that produced it.
Opposition is essential to maintaining true balance between forces. It is the centripedal and centrifugal forces acting in opposition to each other that keep our planet in the proper orbit. The propelling action coupled with the repelling counteraction keep the earth in orbit around the sun instead of flinging it into space and a path of certain destruction.
God guides our lives in the same way. It is not enough to have only a propelling force. We need an equal repelling force, so He holds us back through the testing ordeals of life. The pressures of temptations and trials and all the things that seem to be against us further our progress and strengthen our foundation.
Let us thank Him for both the weights and the wings He produces. And realizing we are divinely propelled, let us press on with faith and patience in our high and heavenly calling.
A. B. Simpson
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Five O'Clock Shadow
Well, the Star Trek commands have done their job! My hair has "engaged". You can tell from across the room, that the top of my head is a different, darker color than my face--yippee! In fact, on one side, the hair is actually lying down! It is thin, but it roars, to me anyway.
I still pick up hair rubber bands and put them in my pants pocket, thinking I'll need them later. And you know what? I will.
Just wondering how long until I'll ditch my snug little wiggie for good...
I hope everyone is on schedule for your mammogram. I hope you are making dietary and exercise changes in your daily life, including meditation time. I'm looking into a Christian rosary-type meditation. The book I recently recommended Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life, spoke of some remarkable advantages of meditation, specifically studied in people who used the Latin Rosary. The memorized prayer, its timing and the serenity brought on by the routine recitation brought opportunities for the body to settle and align itself in a completely unique way. (Of course this makes sense to people of faith...)
Anyway, take this first-of-the-month opportunity to stretch in ways and try new things to put yourself on more solid footing in caring for yourself. Often, we moms put others first SO often, that we suffer. And as the old story goes, starving people must feed themselves first, for if they are lost, their children most certainly will be lost as well.
Take care of yourself, today. No one else is going to do it for you!
Here's to a hairy spring! ;)
I still pick up hair rubber bands and put them in my pants pocket, thinking I'll need them later. And you know what? I will.
Just wondering how long until I'll ditch my snug little wiggie for good...
I hope everyone is on schedule for your mammogram. I hope you are making dietary and exercise changes in your daily life, including meditation time. I'm looking into a Christian rosary-type meditation. The book I recently recommended Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life, spoke of some remarkable advantages of meditation, specifically studied in people who used the Latin Rosary. The memorized prayer, its timing and the serenity brought on by the routine recitation brought opportunities for the body to settle and align itself in a completely unique way. (Of course this makes sense to people of faith...)
Anyway, take this first-of-the-month opportunity to stretch in ways and try new things to put yourself on more solid footing in caring for yourself. Often, we moms put others first SO often, that we suffer. And as the old story goes, starving people must feed themselves first, for if they are lost, their children most certainly will be lost as well.
Take care of yourself, today. No one else is going to do it for you!
Here's to a hairy spring! ;)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wilkommen and sayonara
Lots going on around here--let me just say that when I have been whining and wishing for hair, I did not intend for hair to return to MY UPPER LIP! I think you should get to avoid that forever once you have had parts of your body removed/replaced. There is hair on my head. Each of my children have commented on it separately. It mostly looks colorless, although that cannot be the complete truth, since I notice a "five o'clock shadow"ishness to the top of my head. And today, before church, I swear it looked a little "spotty" for lack of a better term. I've been afraid to look since then.
And there is hair on my legs and I still have a numb armpit, which makes shaving a daredevil activity!
My fingernails, on the other hand, seem to be going the way of the dodo. More and more of them are "letting go" as it were. Lifting themselves off and taking on a yellowish hue. Ick. I suppose it didn't help that I washed the pony's tail yesterday with no gloves on. Equine hygiene is high on my list, here.
I have got to get walking now, as exercise was very high on the list of Ways to Avoid Recurrence, in the book I just finished, Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life. Cutting back on sugar is also big and I will be wrestling with that.
I am so thankful to be mucking my own stalls. I know that's an odd thought, but I think it everyday. I remember asking my surgeon how soon I would be back to my old habits and he promised by the holidays (past). And thankfully, he was right. I can lift and carry and work just like always--WHAT A BLESSING! I know breast surgery has changed so dramatically within my adult lifetime. I'm so glad I got to come in at the better end of that arc.
I will be having my exchange surgery sometime in the next month, I think. Where they replace the soft tissue expanders (that were inserted in my original surgery), with saline or silicone implants. I can't really call them permanent implants, because no implant lasts forever. I hate the thought of having surgery again, but it will be nice to get one more thing out of the way. This is outpatient.
The saline/silicone decision is a big one and I can't seem to find a definitive answer to satisfy me. I'll probably go with saline, although what I've seen makes me nervous, about them being water bags and also "hard". All the implants have silicone outer shells, so no matter what, you are putting silicone inside you. That doesn't worry me too much.
With the silicone implant, a rupture is difficult to determine. Sometimes you have to have an MRI to confirm it. With saline, a rupture is immediately noticeable--a lot like a flat tire on a bike--get the picture. At the surgeon's office they call it a "social emergency". Great.
No matter what, they'll never be as good as nature. And you know what, I miss the old ones. They weren't perfect, that's for sure, but they had some "life" to them. They squished and were comfortable. I've even had to learn to sleep differently, because these babies don't move, even a little. The good part is that stairs and running are no problem.
Being the bionic woman has its trade-offs, just like anything else.
And there is hair on my legs and I still have a numb armpit, which makes shaving a daredevil activity!
My fingernails, on the other hand, seem to be going the way of the dodo. More and more of them are "letting go" as it were. Lifting themselves off and taking on a yellowish hue. Ick. I suppose it didn't help that I washed the pony's tail yesterday with no gloves on. Equine hygiene is high on my list, here.
I have got to get walking now, as exercise was very high on the list of Ways to Avoid Recurrence, in the book I just finished, Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life. Cutting back on sugar is also big and I will be wrestling with that.
I am so thankful to be mucking my own stalls. I know that's an odd thought, but I think it everyday. I remember asking my surgeon how soon I would be back to my old habits and he promised by the holidays (past). And thankfully, he was right. I can lift and carry and work just like always--WHAT A BLESSING! I know breast surgery has changed so dramatically within my adult lifetime. I'm so glad I got to come in at the better end of that arc.
I will be having my exchange surgery sometime in the next month, I think. Where they replace the soft tissue expanders (that were inserted in my original surgery), with saline or silicone implants. I can't really call them permanent implants, because no implant lasts forever. I hate the thought of having surgery again, but it will be nice to get one more thing out of the way. This is outpatient.
The saline/silicone decision is a big one and I can't seem to find a definitive answer to satisfy me. I'll probably go with saline, although what I've seen makes me nervous, about them being water bags and also "hard". All the implants have silicone outer shells, so no matter what, you are putting silicone inside you. That doesn't worry me too much.
With the silicone implant, a rupture is difficult to determine. Sometimes you have to have an MRI to confirm it. With saline, a rupture is immediately noticeable--a lot like a flat tire on a bike--get the picture. At the surgeon's office they call it a "social emergency". Great.
No matter what, they'll never be as good as nature. And you know what, I miss the old ones. They weren't perfect, that's for sure, but they had some "life" to them. They squished and were comfortable. I've even had to learn to sleep differently, because these babies don't move, even a little. The good part is that stairs and running are no problem.
Being the bionic woman has its trade-offs, just like anything else.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
