Are you on schedule?

Sooooooo, is your mammogram scheduled? Are you on schedule? Are you taking an active stance in your healthcare?? These are important questions! I want to remind everyone, my cancer was "found" because I had missed several years (!) of mammograms for various reasons. I had gone in March 08 to get back on schedule. I had a physical exam by my ob/gyn at that time and was given no cause for concern. BECAUSE I had been off for several years, they asked me to come back for a six-month follow-up, in September. PTL! Had they not asked for that, I would just be getting ready to go for my annual mammo in March. Next month.

In addition, keep in mind that I had a physical breast exam by my ob/gyn and a mammogram. Both normal. In September, I had a mammogram and an ultrasound. Then a biopsy. No one could "feel" anything. They requested I have a biopsy on a suspicious site. That biopsy turned up positive for lobular cancer, which does not form "tumors" or lumps. It is more of a thickening of tissue.

I then saw a breast surgeon, who also did a physical exam--didn't feel anything unusual. He showed me my mammogram pictures and said other than the biopsy site, he didn't see anything that concerned him. He also sent me for an MRI.

The MRI showed another suspicious spot, right next to the biopsy site. This apparently didn't look suspicious on mammogram or ultrasound, since no one else mentioned it. Since I had already decided for a double mastectomy, we didn't feel it was necessary to wait longer and do another biopsy on that site. It was all coming out anyway, was my/our thoughts. (I decided to do the double after I asked him what he would tell his wife to do--and he said take it all off and be done with it.)

THEN--after surgery, the tissue studies found cellular incidence of cancer in MY OTHER BREAST! The one that showed NOTHING in mammogram, ultrasound, physical exams and MRI's! NOTHING. But cancer was there.

PLEASE stay on top of your own health. I know the Lord orchestrated my whole story because it's an amazing story with more twists and turns than I have shared here. Please know your family history and pay attention to any gut feelings. Do those goofy self-exams. Stay on schedule with doctor appointments and don't short yourself because it's expensive, etc. (The bill for my last chemo just came--$13000! That's just one treatment.)

Take care of yourself--for my sake! :)

Last symptom

Here's hoping it's the last one...

my poor, sore finger tips are now showing evidence of some kind of damage. Two weeks ago, I slammed my left hand fingers in the front door, as I was racing in to get something. I took a big ole' chunk out of the side of my index finger and busted the trim on the door jamb doing it. Fortunately I had one of those leftover hospital ice packs. With daily doses of Corona (not the beer), it healed pretty nicely but the finger tip seemed pretty painful, which I assumed was from slamming it in the door.

The big notch out of my finger is now healed but all of the sudden the pinky and ring finger on that hand have blood under the nails, as if they too were slammed. I told Handyman that it was pretty amazing that I could slam three fingers in the door at once. Kinda odd.

That was until the pinky and ring fingers on my right hand also have blood under the nails. Weird. I KNOW I didn't slam my right hand in the door that day. It still hurts to drum my fingers on a table and even a little to type. I read that some people lose their nails during chemo; but I think it's really strange that this wouldn't happen to me until two and a half weeks after my last chemo. I guess it's just a cumulative effect thing.

Please pray for Angela--a young mother of three (I think) in my church who is pregnant and has been diagnosed with invasive ductile breast cancer. Her baby is due in about eight weeks and she is undergoing chemo now.

Also, regarding the little boy hit by the schoolbus and killed last week. Our children's pastor's wife is a teacher at that school. And she is my daughter's Awana table leader. She told the girls tonight that that little boy was being raised by his grandmother, who is a Christian and the little boy was also a Christian. So we can know that he is with the Lord now. :*)

Taking inventory

I am late in posting this picture from Christmas week. From the left, there's me with my "hair", then Needa who lunched with me at chemo (and makes the best chicken pot pie), then LD, who knitted umpteen awesome hats for me way down in TX, and KS, who coordinated all the meals you brought us and she drove me to the hospital to have #3 (oh and helped Needa and my other buds paint my kitchen the same day.) Merry Christmas!

Today is the day after Day 14--the official day when my white-cell blood count should start heading back to normal. Of course, #3 played with a "coughing girl" at Awana, it was reported to me. And of course, #3 now has a runny/stuffy nose...so we'll see. But even if, I think we'll conquer it.

That being said, here's the current situation: No hair, but lots of little pricklies--that don't hurt anymore. They're not new. They're what refused to go! Here's to the tough hair that hung in there, no matter what! Yea tough hair!

My fingertips are all touchy. Like each one has been tapped well with a hammer. I'll be glad for this one to go. Fingernails are tough and cracky.

Tongue seems to be on the mend. I gorged myself at my mother's last night on lasagna and garlic bread and halibut dip and cocktail weenies and a great salad brought by Aibrean with goat cheese and cashews and craisins and sliced pear--good heavens--I'll have to post that recipe. Also, salsa tasted tomato-y to me yesterday at lunchtime. That was a shocker. Maybe I won't have to keep drinking limeade.

My right eye twitches all the time--how that is related to chemo, I don't know but it never did it before and has done it consistently throughout.

My GI system is not totally itself yet either, but definitely tolerable.

So far everyone, to a person, loves my "hair". Everyone says I look way younger. Okay, so I looked haggard and aged before. And I always thought a pony tail took off ten years--might have to rethink this.

So today's poll is...what color do you think my hair will be when it comes back??

Bouncin' back, albeit slower

Well--chemo went off without a hitch last Friday. Needa came and brought mexican food to eat lunch with me. My counts were on the low side, borderline anemic, but nothing to require any prescriptions or delay. I sat next to a little older lady who is battling late-stage colon cancer...ugh, poor thing.

At the end, I got to "ring the bell" since it was my last treatment. I even bolted out without picking up a reminder card for my three-month follow-up. I am supposed to start taking Tamoxifen in about three weeks and that will be for about 5 YEARS! So, menopause, here I come!

When I left chemo, I began a giant commute to pick up kids and drop off kids. When I finally ended up back at my house, after dark, I came into a freshly-cleaned house! It was all cleaned up, including the Christmas tree--taken down and put away! My friend SP, who had my girls all day, had brought her four and my three back to the house after lunch, and those kids spent all afternoon cleaning up. They even finished off with a pot of tulips (my fave) on the kitchen island. She said it was their service project for the week! What a GIANT blessing! I couldn't get over it. They even got me on video tape, shrieking about what a blessing I can never repay!

Then we turned right back around and drove #2 and her friends to a guest party at the Arthur Murray Studio where she is taking ballroom dance lessons. They had a great time and I won a $20 Panera gift card!

The weekend was mostly a blur, as Handyman got home Friday evening, but worked from dawn to midnight on Saturday and left again on Sunday morning! But he's back now, in time for the biggest snowfall in our tenure here. I'm really not even sure that we can bust out of our driveway today, but we'll see.

I'm really tired. Don't know if it's the weather (yeah), the cold (yeah), the mid-winter slo-work panic (yeah)or just borderline anemia. But, I'm taking my vitamins and sleeping in when I can. And counting down the days until my hair starts coming back!!

LAST CHEMO TOMORROW!

Yippee! I saw the nurse at the plastic surgeon today...she removed the steri strips from the little surgery on New Year's Eve. No more blue blob!

Got several compliments on my "hair" from people who don't know. So hilarious! I want to say, "you can buy one too!"

Needa is having lunch with me at chemo tomorrow--I don't think they'll let us bring sparklers or anything, though. I had brunch here this morning with SP and TO. TO brought me a big meal of enchiladas for tomorrow night or Saturday, to feed poor Handyman. SP is keeping all the womenfolk while I go tomorrow.

My parental units have fed me several times this week, just out of charity. I'm feeling great. #1 is going off to middle school on Monday, so I have to get up to drive her to that. Life is changin' all over the place...

Benefits of having no hair

1. mustache has fallen out as well
2. of course, no shaving of legs or armpits!
3. getting ready takes NO time
4. shower is really fast
5. only one towel necessary for shower
6. "Hair" looks pretty good all the time


Disadvantages of having no hair

1. can't wear wig under hats to barn, so "hair" must be removed before going out
2. can't wear wig while doing intensive cooking/baking
3. stubbly head can be uncomfortable on pillow
4. seeing bald head in mirror is very irritating
5. wig feels somewhat hat-like, have to remember not to take it off when arriving somewhere!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack...and balder than ever!

Okay, that's not really me...she has more hair.

I took an extended holiday break and am back in the saddle again. Okay, I wish I was back in a saddle again. I had my third chemo last Friday (1/2), dragged through the weekend, which included the Indianapolis Colts pulling up lame in overtime and limping back to their stable on the west side. Although the Colts are done for the season, I am rebounding much more successfully than they. I feel pretty well back to my old self now, PTL.

That means I have one more treatment and I'm D-O-N-E. Fine with me. I love my wig. It is warm and mostly comfortable. I am OVER being bald. I get irritated when I pass the bathroom mirror in the morning and see that I am, still bald. I continue to be surprised by it, actually. I suppose you don't get quickly over an entire lifetime of viewing yourself WITH hair. I am glad I had it shaved off and I'm a teensy bit proud that there is still hair on most of my head, albeit stubbly, little blackish hair. I am thrilled that all the hair on my legs fell out! LOL!

I have been careful to remember the warnings of the precious wig ladies, "Stay away from hot ovens and steaming pots!" This has made cooking very entertaining for the kids as I dash around the kitchen flinging my wig onto chair posts so I can lean into the oven to check the cake or whatnot! Then there was #1 leaning in the front door and yelling, "Mom! Grandma is here--put on your hair!"

Sleeping on stubble is a little challenging. I have not struggled with being cold at night, but stubble pokes back as it's wiggled around on the pillow...and I'm surprised at how gently you can scratch your scalp and get the job done. I cannot quit trying to wring out my ponytail in the shower. My hands just automatically go there and do that! But getting ready is a complete breeze. #1 even said she wanted to shave her head and wear a wig because "Mom's hair always looks great!" It's great to have some good memories of this time.

The only "down" thing that is going on is that my fingertips are more sensitive. It has to do with my fingernails, I'm sure. They are not growing and feel very thick and odd. They don't look weird, but I can't use them to pry things open, etc. Then I pinched one in the chicken gate this morning and thought I would cry!

My taste continues to be DULL with a capital Duh...which could be bad as I have a desire to keep eating things, thinking it will make them taste better. A friend bought me several boxes of Altoids as a treat, on the tip of a BC survivor who remembered the tasteless days of chemo. The Altoids are a treat for me, although they taste about like Dentyne--but even that is a treat.

Still have never told my FIL about my diagnosis or surgery, at all. Over Christmas we were all gathered at my parents' house and he looked at me and said, "I still can't get used to your hair." I just laughed and said, "Neither can I!"

Thanks everyone again for your prayers and good wishes. I got one of my favorite things on Christmas Eve--a seed catalog! It'll keep me dreaming through these last few weeks of yuck.